She’s Too Young for You, Bro

On August 10th, 2015, Kylie Jenner turned 18 years old.  And now, three weeks later, she’s flaunting some PDA in Tyga’s new music video for his trying-hard-to-be-tough-and-sexual-anthem “Stimulated.”

The video features Tyga penning lyrics and rolling a joint in a beautiful home- you know, basic rapper tasks- when a barely legal Kylie Jenner steps out of a lime green sports car in stilettos (I guess I was a lame 18 year-old).  While still pretending to read his freshly written verses out loud, Tyga raps: “I’m stimulated/ I’m at the bank, I’m penetratin’/ I’m puttin’ in, I’m penetratin’/ I’m gettin’ big, I’m stimulated.”  Nope, I do not want to hear about  what Tyga may be “depositing” in Kylie Jenner’s “bank.”  Tyga continues, “They say she young, I should’ve waited/ She a big girl, dog when she stimulated.”  Okay, stop, that’s just weird.  So basically, Tyga’s saying she’s young, but man, when she’s turned on, she’s pretty much an adult.  The rest of the music video features some pretty PG-rated PDA, like hugging and piggyback rides (thank God).  The two have been pretty mum about their alleged relationship — until now (aka until Kylie was officially considered legal).

Throughout the song, Tyga samples a trance song by Robert Miles.  The song title?  “Children.”

Stay tuned,

Roxanne

Justin Bieber is Quite Inquisitive

First, Justin Bieber asked: “Where Are ü Now?”  Now, Biebs is asking: “What Do You Mean?”

After seeing celebrity after celebrity (everyone from Kevin Hart to Britney Spears) post photos and videos of themselves counting down to the release of Bieber’s “What Do You Mean?”, the Biebs has finally released his new single produced by Skrillex. Screen Shot 2015-09-01 at 1.57.59 PM Biebs and Skrillex have previously worked together on Jack U’s track “Where Are ü Now?” (this summer’s banger based solely off of its constant airtime).

The song is EDM-inspired with a tropical house beat while Bieber croons: “What do you mean?/ When you nod your head yes/ But you wanna say no/ What do you mean?”
It pains me a bit to say that I actually really like the song and can even (am I really about to say this?) relate to it.  In the song, Biebs is confused because a girl is being flip-floppy and says one thing but means another.  So basically, he’s like “What the hell do you want?” — a question I have definitely wanted to scream in peoples’ faces who seem to be hot and cold, in and out.  Although I understand the song completely now, I didn’t feel right about the lyrics when I first skimmed through the track.  Initially, it felt like a “no means yes” controversy, and to be honest, it didn’t really surprise me at the time because, well, Justin Bieber (enough said).

The Biebs is officially back (not sure how to feel about this).

Stay tuned,

Roxanne

This is NOT about The Bee Gees

It’s a tiny bit disheartening that when you Google search “How Deep is Your Love,” the Bee Gees only made it to one result on the first page while a majority of the pages link to Calvin Harris.

In mid-July when Calvin Harris released his and the Disciples’ new deep house track “How Deep is Your Love,” it was expected to be a summer banger.  With its funky bass and repetitive chorus, I can understand why people would consider the song one of their summer jams (I’m looking at you, bros).

The same can’t be said for Frenchman DJ Snake’s remix of “How Deep is Your Love.”

As has been probably mentioned in several previous blog posts, I’m a fan of DJ Snake.  I’ve seen him six or more times already (including one time when my phone got stolen by a boy wearing a cardigan in a club, which in all realness, should have been a red flag to begin with), and have enjoyed every single performance. dj snakeHe’s even been dominating the radio this summer between his version of AlunaGeorge’s “You Know You Like It” and “Lean On” with Major Lazer and MØ.  Despite all of that, I really dislike his remix of Harris’ “How Deep is Your Love.”  The remix had so much potential until the beat dropped and some God-awful, annoying horn starts ringing like crazy.  In comparison to DJ Snake’s other work, this remix falls short, which is why I dislike it so much.  So basically, like a parent to a teenager, I’m disappointed in DJ Snake.  I would be interested to hear what a purely trap remix of the song would sound like.  If Ookay had remixed “How Deep is Your Love,” I imagine it would be all the trappy ratchetness I was expecting from DJ Snake.  I also think Oliver Heldens could really add to the song with his signature bouncy bass.

 

My love for DJ Snake’s remix of the song is not deep at all.

Stay tuned,
Roxanne

Pass the Joint, Lana

It’s only the second week of August, but that doesn’t mean anything to the department stores that loop back-to-school commercials or to the overeager grocery stores already displaying a gross amount of Halloween candy.  So it’s kind of relieving to hear Lana Del Rey’s newly released single off her upcoming fourth album, Honeymoon, that’s about just wanting to chill and get “high by the beach.”  The summer daze isn’t over, and Lana’s making sure we don’t forget that with this new track.

“High By the Beach” is a synth-heavy, slightly trap-led ballad.  The track features Del Rey’s signature sound of dreamy, monotone vocals mixed with slight influences of hip hop and trippy indie (#tbt Born to Die).  The combination of hip-hop percussions and orchestral influences creates a laidback, airy, and hazy feel to the song, which is actually perfect while Lana croons, “All I wanna do is get high by the beach/ Get high by the beach, get high.”

Lana 2

Instead of focusing on a dark, tumultuous relationship, Lana seems to be all about getting rid of a dude who’s killing the ~vibe~.  First, she calls him out (“You could be a bad motherfucker/ But that don’t make you a man”) — okay, Lana, I see you.  Then, she proceeds to rip him a new one (“The truth is I never/ Bought into your bullshit/ When you would pay tribute to me”).  Finally, she tells him what she actually cares about (“All I wanna do is get high by the beach/ Get high by the beach, get high”) — get ’em, girrrl.

Lana’s made it clear she’s not about vibe-killers — so stop with the commercials and the candy, okay?

Stay tuned,

Roxanne

‘Cause HAIM a Man, Woman

The three most hipstery sisters on the planet/walking Urban Outfitters models have remixed Tame Impala’s psychedelic “‘Cause I’m A Man.”

The song appears on Australian band Tame Impala’s third studio album, Currents, which was released last month. tame-impala-2014 Much like the band’s previous albums, Currents was completely recorded, performed, and produced by lead member Kevin Parker.  Although the band had been recording and performing since as early as 2007, 2015 seems to be the year for Tame Impala.  If you like groovy indie rock/trip on acid often, then Tame Impala is perfect for you.

Haim’s rendition of “‘Cause I’m A Man” features a slowed-down, glitchy beat with the group’s signature abstract, echoey female vocals. HAIM I love the fact that Haim kept the lyrics the same instead of altering them to be more female-centric (“Cause I’m a man, woman/ Don’t always think before I do”).  The remix perfectly blends the two bands’ signature styles perfectly.  Danielle Haim spoke about the remix in a Facebook post:

“In 2009 I was in japan playing the summer sonic festival with Jenny Lewis as her guitar player. On a day off of the festival we played a side show at astro hall in tokyo with a band from Australia I’d never heard of called Tame Impala. I remember standing in the crowd and not really understanding how this MASSIVE sound was coming off the stage with just 4 people playing. They were one of the best bands I had ever seen live. When I went back to my hotel, i downloaded their ep immediately- told my sisters to also- and since then we’ve seen their incredible shows all over the world at various festivals and loved every record. Sooo needless to say, when we were asked to do this remix we jumped at the chance!! but we’ve never really done a “remix” before so we decided to put out our own spin on the song. Go get Currents if you haven’t yet- you’ll be stoked. – Danielle youtu.be/3J2I2huV6lE

I didn’t think it was possible, but Haim has made Tame Impala sound even trippier than usual.

Stay tuned,

Roxanne

Beauty Behind the Tracklist Madness

Earlier today, a rumored track list for The Weeknd’s highly anticipated Beauty Behind the Madness LP was released.  However, at exactly 12:26pm today, The Weeknd/Abel Tesfaye tweeted out the album’s official tracklist which features guest vocals and production from Kanye West, Labrinth, Ed Sheeran, and Lana Del Rey.

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The Canadian R&B singer’s third album has already shared bangers such as “Earned It,” “Can’t Feel My Face,” “Often,” and “The Hills” (The Weeknd is straight up dominating radio airplay at the moment).  Judging by the released songs, this album will be *fire*.  I’m particularly excited to hear “Prisoner,” which features Lana Del Rey; the combination of Lana’s sultriness and The Weeknd’s smooth swagger might actually make me spontaneously combust from the presumed sensuality of the song.

Beauty Behind the Madness is out August 28th.

Beauty Behind the Madness:

01 Real Life
02 Losers [ft. Labrinth]
03 Tell Your Friends [Kanye West produced]
04 Often
05 The Hills
06 Acquainted
07 I Can’t Feel My Face
08 Shameless
09 Earned It (Fifty Shades of Grey)
10 In the Night
11 As You Are
12 Dark Times [ft. Ed Sheeran]
13 Prisoner [ft. Lana Del Rey]
14 Angel

Stay tuned,

Roxanne

Top 10 Best Songs to Set the Mood

Let’s be real — sometimes it takes more than candles, rose pedals, and whatever else you’re in to (no judgment here) to set the mood.  You can play the stereotypical Marvin Gaye or Miguel, but where’s the fun in that?  Besides, “the mood” is different each time — for example, a song to set the tone for when one of you is going through a difficult time (so, like, grief babymaking) will most likely not set the proper “mood” for when you’re both coming home from a great night, slightly buzzed, and majorly frisky (I mean, unless that’s your thing).  “The mood” varies, and so should each babymaking song.  Here’s a playlist with a mix of indie, hip-hop, electronic, and a whole lot of ~sensual~ music accompanied by rom-com worthy situations for each song:

Parks-and-Rec101. Good For You by Selena Gomez, A$AP Rocky.  “Let me show you how proud I am to be yours/ Leave this dress a mess on the floor”  You’ve been dating your significant other for a little while now, and it’s really good, but you’re so paranoid of it becoming stale.  You’re unconsciously desperate and almost obsessed with pleasing your partner.  You constantly think of ways to surprise him/her and prove that you’re worth it.  (Side note: You’re worth it.  Don’t ever prove yourself to anyone.)

2. All The Time by Bahamas.  “I’ve got all the time in the world don’t you want some of that”  Two words: Afternoon delight.  You wanted the both of you to play hooky from work to, ummm, “spend time” with each other, but you have that 10:30am conference call that you cannot miss.  So you both go to work, but both rush home to “eat lunch.” 😉 😉 😉  You both go back to work slightly frazzled, a little messy, but with a bigger smile and a bit more energy.  Hey, lunch must’ve been really delicious today!

3. One Time by Marian Hill.  “You like the hit and run/ You say it’s all for fun”  This song is straight-up sensuality and swagger.  You meet someone at the bar (who’s not creepy or douchey or ditzy – idk it might be the tequila talking), and you’re surprised at how decent the conversation is.  You initiate conversation because you apologize for your drunk friend bumping into everyone in a 10-foot vicinity, and he/she flashes you a 1000-mega-watt smile (idk again, everything’s kind of blurry).  You talk a little about your music tastes, your careers, and your mutual dislike for Donald Trump, and wow, you’ve never met anyone this refreshingly normal at a bar before.  It goes without saying that you mutually agree that tonight, despite what Marian Hill is crooning about, you will have a one-night stand (and promise to pretend to still be sleeping when the other is tip-toeing out of the apartment the next morning).

4. Powerful by Major Lazer, Ellie Goulding, Tarrus Riley.  “There’s an energy/ When you hold me/ When you touch me/ It’s so powerful”  You’re at your friend’s overly packed holiday party, and as you’re trying to make your way back to the bar to fill up your glass, you bump into your old ex (the one that you really and wholeheartedly loved even when you broke up and cried for weeks and watched PS I Love You over and over again).  You’re both kind of startled, but in a crowded room full of people, it’s just you two.  And, honestly, it feels comforting to see such a familiar face.  He/she asks if you want to get some air, get a drink elsewhere, or really anything to be alone together.  (Side note: This has probably already happened in roughly 85-120 romantic comedy movies probably starring either Kate Hudson or Katherine Heigl.)

5. Talk is Cheap by Chet Faker.  “I wanna make you move with confidence/ I wanna be with you alone”  You’re both coming back from a great dinner filled with plenty of laughter and happiness.  As you walk home arm-in-arm, you realize how much you admire him/her — literally everything about the person, even the annoying way he/she puts the carton back in the fridge even though there’s about a millimeter of juice left.  When you both finally arrive home and are unwinding, but still basking in the greatness of the night, you both mutually want to show each other just how much you really feel for one another.  (Side note: This song is meant for your FOR REAL, ride-or-die, legitimate lover/soulmate/best friend/person.  Chet Faker should not be taken lightly.)

6. Two Weeks by FKA Twigs.  “My thighs are apart for when you’re ready to breathe in”  You’ve been dating your significant other for a while because, let’s be real, things can get real freaky when FKA Twigs comes on.  No need to go into detail with this one *insert awkward/nervous emoji here*.

7. Black Mambo by Glass Animals.  “Slow down/ It’s a science/ He’s been waiting/ To bring you down”  You’re at an informal, mini-reunion with all of your old college pals, and you’re having a genuinely good time catching up with everyone and feeling like absolutely nothing’s changed.  One minute you’re chugging beer with your one friend you always thought was attractive but never had the guts to cross that line, and the next minute you’re asking that friend: “What if we actually did hook up back then?”  More than a few minutes after that (or at least I’d hope so), your “What if?” becomes a “What now?”

8. Slip by Elliot Moss.  “Whoa, whoa, whoa”  You’ve been dating this person for a little while now, but the relationship (if you can even officially call it that yet) is still brand spankin’ new.  Everything’s a little awkward at first, and you’re both cautious and a little timid, but there’s also a sense of urgency.  You fumble, you stumble, you mumble.  Everything’s tame, but you both know how pivotal this moment is.

9. Four Walls by Broods.  “I wanna make you feel how I feel when I’m listening to love songs/ I wanna take you to the peak of everything that you are”  Everything’s perfect, and you both love each other a ridiculous amount.  But then your company transfers you to a branch in a different country, and you’re stoked because this is your dream and exactly what you’ve been wanting to do — the ultimate next step in your career and your life.  And then you remember your significant other.  You both talk about it over and over again, and you both realize it wasn’t meant to be at this time.  You ache because you know that in another life, in other circumstances, you would 100% be together, but not right now.  You spend your last night in your home country in the place you know best.

10. Often by The Weeknd.  “I usually love sleeping all alone/ This time around bring your friend with you/ But we ain’t really going to sleep at all”  You swore you would stop hitting up your friend-with-benefits/routine booty call, but it’s Saturday night and you’re bored.  So your FWB comes over to innocently watch the game with you and drink a couple of beers.  But then you’re both staring at the game timer as it slowly ticks down second-by-second, and oops wow, you didn’t even realize you were holding your breath with your fists tightly clenched.  It goes to commercial, and in a nanosecond you look over at each other, make knowing eye contact, and then — touchdown, goal, score, home run (who even knows what sport you two were “watching”).

**BONUS**

magic mike

11. Pony by Ginuwine.  “My saddle’s waiting/ Come and jump on it”  When you feel like getting your Magic Mike on.

Stay tuned,

Roxanne

“When I look back I might be mad that I gave this attention”

UPDATE, 8/3:

Yes, this beef nonsense is still continuing.

To basically bury Meek Mill in even more shit, Drake opened up his set at OVO Fest with “Charged Up” and “Back to Back” while a stream of Meek memes was projected behind him.  Memes varied from a participation award entitled to Meek and his diss track “Wanna Know” to a meme of Meek as a contestant on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” with the question “What is the Pink Print Tour?” (LOL).  Also, earlier in the day, Drake was allegedly wearing a “Free Meek Mill” t-shirt.

Meek Drake

So, basically, I’d say this is equivalent to a K.O. for Meek.

Stay tuned,

Roxanne

UPDATE, 7/30:

Meek Mill has finally responded to Drake with his own diss track (if you can even call it that) “Wanna Know,” which was produced by Jhalil Beats and Swizz Beats.  The track features a sample from WWE wrestler the Undertaker’s theme song as well as Quentin Miller, Drake’s alleged ghostwriter, who sings the chorus of “Know Yourself.”  I’ll be completely honest and admit that for the rest of the song, I couldn’t understand what Meek is actually saying.  And really, I’m a little over all of this so I couldn’t really be bothered to even listen to this track for a second time.  From the little I could actually understand, Meek referenced old rapper beef in the last line of the track (“This that Ja Rule shit and 50 cent”).

“Wanna Know” features unintelligible, angry mumbling and a whole lot of forgettable weak one-liners.

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Drake: 3, Meek: 0, Whataburger: 1000

Stay tuned,

Roxanne

ORIGINAL:

And the Drake/Meek Mill catfight continues.

During Saturday’s installment of “OVO Sound Radio,” Drake premiered “Charged Up,” the first diss track to dispute Meek’s claim that Drizzy used a ghostwriter for his verse on Meek’s song, “R.I.C.O.”  drakeMeek called the diss track “baby lotion soft,” and I can’t say I completely disagree with him.  However, earlier today, Drake released “Back to Back Freestyle,” Drake’s second diss track aimed directly at Meek, on October’s Very Own Soundcloud.  After giving “Back to Back Freestyle” a listen (or like 10), “Charged Up” seems like a warm-up in comparison.

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Although Drake has been playing the “I’m-so-legend-I-don’t-need-to-fight-back” card (“When I look back I might be mad that I gave this attention/ But it’s weighing heavy on my conscience/ And fuck, you left me with no options”), shots have absolutely been fired with “Back to Back Freestyle.”  Screen Shot 2015-07-29 at 4.34.16 PMAttacking Meek’s current position as an opener/warm-up/hypeman act on his girlfriend Nicki Minaj’s “Pinkprint Tour,” Drake raps: “You love her, then you gotta give the world to her/ Is that a world tour or your girl’s tour?/ I know that you gotta be a thug for her/ This ain’t what she meant when she told you to open up more.”  Not only that, but Drake attacks Meek for starting beef via social media (#millennials): “Yeah, trigger fingers turn to Twitter fingers/ Yeah, you gettin’ bodied by a singin’ nigga.”

And Drizzy doesn’t stop there.  The accompanying artwork to the track is a photo of Toronto Blue Jay’s Joe Carter from the 1993 World Series when the Blue Jays beat the Philadelphia Phillies.  Everyone knows Drake is from the 6.  Where’s Meek from?  Philly.

Looks like Meek’s gonna be needing Jimmy’s wheelchair after that shot.

 

Stay tuned,

Roxanne

The Smoothest Remix Yet

As if Chet Faker’s “1998” needed any more swagger and sensuality, a rework was just released featuring a new verse and smooth harmonies from California singer BANKS.  chetThe original track was initially released on “Built on Glass,” the Australian producer/singer’s debut album that propelled him to fame.  The new “1998” remix just premiered on Zane Lowe’s Beats 1 show yesterday (turns out Beats 1 is just as awesome as I initially thought).  This track follows last month’s release of “Bend” and comes just in time for Faker’s upcoming fall tour.

“1998” Remix featuring BANKS

Original “1998”

Still smooooooth as hell if you ask me.

Stay tuned,

Roxanne