She’s Too Young for You, Bro

On August 10th, 2015, Kylie Jenner turned 18 years old.  And now, three weeks later, she’s flaunting some PDA in Tyga’s new music video for his trying-hard-to-be-tough-and-sexual-anthem “Stimulated.”

The video features Tyga penning lyrics and rolling a joint in a beautiful home- you know, basic rapper tasks- when a barely legal Kylie Jenner steps out of a lime green sports car in stilettos (I guess I was a lame 18 year-old).  While still pretending to read his freshly written verses out loud, Tyga raps: “I’m stimulated/ I’m at the bank, I’m penetratin’/ I’m puttin’ in, I’m penetratin’/ I’m gettin’ big, I’m stimulated.”  Nope, I do not want to hear about  what Tyga may be “depositing” in Kylie Jenner’s “bank.”  Tyga continues, “They say she young, I should’ve waited/ She a big girl, dog when she stimulated.”  Okay, stop, that’s just weird.  So basically, Tyga’s saying she’s young, but man, when she’s turned on, she’s pretty much an adult.  The rest of the music video features some pretty PG-rated PDA, like hugging and piggyback rides (thank God).  The two have been pretty mum about their alleged relationship — until now (aka until Kylie was officially considered legal).

Throughout the song, Tyga samples a trance song by Robert Miles.  The song title?  “Children.”

Stay tuned,

Roxanne

This is NOT about The Bee Gees

It’s a tiny bit disheartening that when you Google search “How Deep is Your Love,” the Bee Gees only made it to one result on the first page while a majority of the pages link to Calvin Harris.

In mid-July when Calvin Harris released his and the Disciples’ new deep house track “How Deep is Your Love,” it was expected to be a summer banger.  With its funky bass and repetitive chorus, I can understand why people would consider the song one of their summer jams (I’m looking at you, bros).

The same can’t be said for Frenchman DJ Snake’s remix of “How Deep is Your Love.”

As has been probably mentioned in several previous blog posts, I’m a fan of DJ Snake.  I’ve seen him six or more times already (including one time when my phone got stolen by a boy wearing a cardigan in a club, which in all realness, should have been a red flag to begin with), and have enjoyed every single performance. dj snakeHe’s even been dominating the radio this summer between his version of AlunaGeorge’s “You Know You Like It” and “Lean On” with Major Lazer and MØ.  Despite all of that, I really dislike his remix of Harris’ “How Deep is Your Love.”  The remix had so much potential until the beat dropped and some God-awful, annoying horn starts ringing like crazy.  In comparison to DJ Snake’s other work, this remix falls short, which is why I dislike it so much.  So basically, like a parent to a teenager, I’m disappointed in DJ Snake.  I would be interested to hear what a purely trap remix of the song would sound like.  If Ookay had remixed “How Deep is Your Love,” I imagine it would be all the trappy ratchetness I was expecting from DJ Snake.  I also think Oliver Heldens could really add to the song with his signature bouncy bass.

 

My love for DJ Snake’s remix of the song is not deep at all.

Stay tuned,
Roxanne

Top 10 Best Songs to Set the Mood

Let’s be real — sometimes it takes more than candles, rose pedals, and whatever else you’re in to (no judgment here) to set the mood.  You can play the stereotypical Marvin Gaye or Miguel, but where’s the fun in that?  Besides, “the mood” is different each time — for example, a song to set the tone for when one of you is going through a difficult time (so, like, grief babymaking) will most likely not set the proper “mood” for when you’re both coming home from a great night, slightly buzzed, and majorly frisky (I mean, unless that’s your thing).  “The mood” varies, and so should each babymaking song.  Here’s a playlist with a mix of indie, hip-hop, electronic, and a whole lot of ~sensual~ music accompanied by rom-com worthy situations for each song:

Parks-and-Rec101. Good For You by Selena Gomez, A$AP Rocky.  “Let me show you how proud I am to be yours/ Leave this dress a mess on the floor”  You’ve been dating your significant other for a little while now, and it’s really good, but you’re so paranoid of it becoming stale.  You’re unconsciously desperate and almost obsessed with pleasing your partner.  You constantly think of ways to surprise him/her and prove that you’re worth it.  (Side note: You’re worth it.  Don’t ever prove yourself to anyone.)

2. All The Time by Bahamas.  “I’ve got all the time in the world don’t you want some of that”  Two words: Afternoon delight.  You wanted the both of you to play hooky from work to, ummm, “spend time” with each other, but you have that 10:30am conference call that you cannot miss.  So you both go to work, but both rush home to “eat lunch.” 😉 😉 😉  You both go back to work slightly frazzled, a little messy, but with a bigger smile and a bit more energy.  Hey, lunch must’ve been really delicious today!

3. One Time by Marian Hill.  “You like the hit and run/ You say it’s all for fun”  This song is straight-up sensuality and swagger.  You meet someone at the bar (who’s not creepy or douchey or ditzy – idk it might be the tequila talking), and you’re surprised at how decent the conversation is.  You initiate conversation because you apologize for your drunk friend bumping into everyone in a 10-foot vicinity, and he/she flashes you a 1000-mega-watt smile (idk again, everything’s kind of blurry).  You talk a little about your music tastes, your careers, and your mutual dislike for Donald Trump, and wow, you’ve never met anyone this refreshingly normal at a bar before.  It goes without saying that you mutually agree that tonight, despite what Marian Hill is crooning about, you will have a one-night stand (and promise to pretend to still be sleeping when the other is tip-toeing out of the apartment the next morning).

4. Powerful by Major Lazer, Ellie Goulding, Tarrus Riley.  “There’s an energy/ When you hold me/ When you touch me/ It’s so powerful”  You’re at your friend’s overly packed holiday party, and as you’re trying to make your way back to the bar to fill up your glass, you bump into your old ex (the one that you really and wholeheartedly loved even when you broke up and cried for weeks and watched PS I Love You over and over again).  You’re both kind of startled, but in a crowded room full of people, it’s just you two.  And, honestly, it feels comforting to see such a familiar face.  He/she asks if you want to get some air, get a drink elsewhere, or really anything to be alone together.  (Side note: This has probably already happened in roughly 85-120 romantic comedy movies probably starring either Kate Hudson or Katherine Heigl.)

5. Talk is Cheap by Chet Faker.  “I wanna make you move with confidence/ I wanna be with you alone”  You’re both coming back from a great dinner filled with plenty of laughter and happiness.  As you walk home arm-in-arm, you realize how much you admire him/her — literally everything about the person, even the annoying way he/she puts the carton back in the fridge even though there’s about a millimeter of juice left.  When you both finally arrive home and are unwinding, but still basking in the greatness of the night, you both mutually want to show each other just how much you really feel for one another.  (Side note: This song is meant for your FOR REAL, ride-or-die, legitimate lover/soulmate/best friend/person.  Chet Faker should not be taken lightly.)

6. Two Weeks by FKA Twigs.  “My thighs are apart for when you’re ready to breathe in”  You’ve been dating your significant other for a while because, let’s be real, things can get real freaky when FKA Twigs comes on.  No need to go into detail with this one *insert awkward/nervous emoji here*.

7. Black Mambo by Glass Animals.  “Slow down/ It’s a science/ He’s been waiting/ To bring you down”  You’re at an informal, mini-reunion with all of your old college pals, and you’re having a genuinely good time catching up with everyone and feeling like absolutely nothing’s changed.  One minute you’re chugging beer with your one friend you always thought was attractive but never had the guts to cross that line, and the next minute you’re asking that friend: “What if we actually did hook up back then?”  More than a few minutes after that (or at least I’d hope so), your “What if?” becomes a “What now?”

8. Slip by Elliot Moss.  “Whoa, whoa, whoa”  You’ve been dating this person for a little while now, but the relationship (if you can even officially call it that yet) is still brand spankin’ new.  Everything’s a little awkward at first, and you’re both cautious and a little timid, but there’s also a sense of urgency.  You fumble, you stumble, you mumble.  Everything’s tame, but you both know how pivotal this moment is.

9. Four Walls by Broods.  “I wanna make you feel how I feel when I’m listening to love songs/ I wanna take you to the peak of everything that you are”  Everything’s perfect, and you both love each other a ridiculous amount.  But then your company transfers you to a branch in a different country, and you’re stoked because this is your dream and exactly what you’ve been wanting to do — the ultimate next step in your career and your life.  And then you remember your significant other.  You both talk about it over and over again, and you both realize it wasn’t meant to be at this time.  You ache because you know that in another life, in other circumstances, you would 100% be together, but not right now.  You spend your last night in your home country in the place you know best.

10. Often by The Weeknd.  “I usually love sleeping all alone/ This time around bring your friend with you/ But we ain’t really going to sleep at all”  You swore you would stop hitting up your friend-with-benefits/routine booty call, but it’s Saturday night and you’re bored.  So your FWB comes over to innocently watch the game with you and drink a couple of beers.  But then you’re both staring at the game timer as it slowly ticks down second-by-second, and oops wow, you didn’t even realize you were holding your breath with your fists tightly clenched.  It goes to commercial, and in a nanosecond you look over at each other, make knowing eye contact, and then — touchdown, goal, score, home run (who even knows what sport you two were “watching”).

**BONUS**

magic mike

11. Pony by Ginuwine.  “My saddle’s waiting/ Come and jump on it”  When you feel like getting your Magic Mike on.

Stay tuned,

Roxanne

“When I look back I might be mad that I gave this attention”

UPDATE, 8/3:

Yes, this beef nonsense is still continuing.

To basically bury Meek Mill in even more shit, Drake opened up his set at OVO Fest with “Charged Up” and “Back to Back” while a stream of Meek memes was projected behind him.  Memes varied from a participation award entitled to Meek and his diss track “Wanna Know” to a meme of Meek as a contestant on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” with the question “What is the Pink Print Tour?” (LOL).  Also, earlier in the day, Drake was allegedly wearing a “Free Meek Mill” t-shirt.

Meek Drake

So, basically, I’d say this is equivalent to a K.O. for Meek.

Stay tuned,

Roxanne

UPDATE, 7/30:

Meek Mill has finally responded to Drake with his own diss track (if you can even call it that) “Wanna Know,” which was produced by Jhalil Beats and Swizz Beats.  The track features a sample from WWE wrestler the Undertaker’s theme song as well as Quentin Miller, Drake’s alleged ghostwriter, who sings the chorus of “Know Yourself.”  I’ll be completely honest and admit that for the rest of the song, I couldn’t understand what Meek is actually saying.  And really, I’m a little over all of this so I couldn’t really be bothered to even listen to this track for a second time.  From the little I could actually understand, Meek referenced old rapper beef in the last line of the track (“This that Ja Rule shit and 50 cent”).

“Wanna Know” features unintelligible, angry mumbling and a whole lot of forgettable weak one-liners.

Screen Shot 2015-08-04 at 10.34.45 PM

Drake: 3, Meek: 0, Whataburger: 1000

Stay tuned,

Roxanne

ORIGINAL:

And the Drake/Meek Mill catfight continues.

During Saturday’s installment of “OVO Sound Radio,” Drake premiered “Charged Up,” the first diss track to dispute Meek’s claim that Drizzy used a ghostwriter for his verse on Meek’s song, “R.I.C.O.”  drakeMeek called the diss track “baby lotion soft,” and I can’t say I completely disagree with him.  However, earlier today, Drake released “Back to Back Freestyle,” Drake’s second diss track aimed directly at Meek, on October’s Very Own Soundcloud.  After giving “Back to Back Freestyle” a listen (or like 10), “Charged Up” seems like a warm-up in comparison.

Screen Shot 2015-07-29 at 4.09.18 PMScreen Shot 2015-07-29 at 4.09.29 PM

Although Drake has been playing the “I’m-so-legend-I-don’t-need-to-fight-back” card (“When I look back I might be mad that I gave this attention/ But it’s weighing heavy on my conscience/ And fuck, you left me with no options”), shots have absolutely been fired with “Back to Back Freestyle.”  Screen Shot 2015-07-29 at 4.34.16 PMAttacking Meek’s current position as an opener/warm-up/hypeman act on his girlfriend Nicki Minaj’s “Pinkprint Tour,” Drake raps: “You love her, then you gotta give the world to her/ Is that a world tour or your girl’s tour?/ I know that you gotta be a thug for her/ This ain’t what she meant when she told you to open up more.”  Not only that, but Drake attacks Meek for starting beef via social media (#millennials): “Yeah, trigger fingers turn to Twitter fingers/ Yeah, you gettin’ bodied by a singin’ nigga.”

And Drizzy doesn’t stop there.  The accompanying artwork to the track is a photo of Toronto Blue Jay’s Joe Carter from the 1993 World Series when the Blue Jays beat the Philadelphia Phillies.  Everyone knows Drake is from the 6.  Where’s Meek from?  Philly.

Looks like Meek’s gonna be needing Jimmy’s wheelchair after that shot.

 

Stay tuned,

Roxanne

Top 10 Best Songs for a Pregame

I’ve always understood the importance of a *fire* pregame playlist.  The songs queued up set the tone for the night and are supposed to pump you up for impending shenanigans.  You sure as hell don’t want to hear Bon Iver when you’re 4 shots deeps (I mean, unless it’s that kind of night).  Sure, you can easily play an hour-long DJ set from Ultra or Coachella (like this one), but I’ve recently found that having a playlist of a healthy mix of hip-hop, indie pop, and electronic music will better cater to all of your buddies’ listening preferences.  Having just celebrated survived my 21st birthday this past weekend, I’d say I have a pretty good understanding of the pregame playlist:

bridesmaids

1. 679 by Fetty Wap, Remy Boyz.  Fetty is taking full advantage of the spotlight that “Trap Queen” put on him.  Fetty’s rolling deep with the Remy Boyz in this bass-heavy track that’s perfect for when you’re equally as squad deep.

2. Last All Night (Koala) by Oliver Heldens, KStewart.  I love me some Oliver Heldens.  In this song it’s more about the bouncy beat and less about the average female vocals.  That catchy beat can make anyone dance – even your one friend who really just shouldn’t.

3. Bitch Better Have My Money by Rihanna.  Rihanna’s a straight-up trap (music) queen on this one.  Her badass attitude and sneer as she spits out lyrics make you kinda lose it and sing/scream along (even if no one actually owes you money).

4. 7/11 by Beyoncé.  “Smack it, smack it in the air.”  Warning: The beat on this track/the alcohol you’re chugging makes you think you can dance like Queen Bey — you can’t, but it’s cool.

5. Slowly by Dropout.  I’m a HUGE fan of this track (but not its marketing tactics).  I love how the pitch shift and slight dub step tones make for a fun, carefree song.

6. My Type by Saint Motel.  With a jazzy, disco-y opening that’s heavy on horns, guitar, and bottle clinks, you already know you’re in for a good time with this track.  You can’t really help but dance like an idiot (I dance purely with my shoulders for this song).

bridesmaids 2

7. I Don’t Like It, I Love It by Flo Rida, Robin Thicke, Verdin White.  Just a breezy song that makes you want to dance whether you like it or not.  Although Robin Thicke has landed on my shit list and Flo Rida doesn’t make it on my list of favorite artists, I still dig this song.

8. You’re On by Madeon, Kyan.  This is a great example of an EDM-radio-friendly song with its airy vocals and poppy beat and bass.  It’s just fun, and that’s exactly what you need at a pregame.

9. Like a G6 by Far East Movement.  An oldie but still a goodie if ya ask me!  So easy to get ~slizzard~ to this one.  You’re going to sing along and remember when you used to blast this to get pumped before your high school semi-formal.

10. After Life by Tchami, Stacy Barthe.  This one’s a little heavier and feels more geared towards raging, but is reminiscent of Oliver Heldens’ bouncy beat.  Go ahead, take that last shot.

Stay tuned,

Roxanne

10 Best Songs from Governors Ball 2015

Since I went to Gov Ball days 1 and 3 this past weekend, I thought it would be appropriate to theme this week’s “10 Best Songs” post around Gov Ball — kind of like a festival recap.

When it comes to great music, Gov Ball is pretty much on point.  When it comes to the entire festival experience, though, Gov Ball is slacking.  Compared to other music festivals, Gov Ball seems like a series of diverse concerts thrown together in the park.  And sure, they might have tasty food trucks/stands and a super fun silent disco (who doesn’t love looking like an idiot?), but they lack that certain umph that makes the festival feel like, well, a festival.  Being held in a city that overflows with emerging artists, Gov Ball could easily feature various art installations that would totally be Insta’ed, which would add to Gov Ball’s festival cred and image.  Regardless, I still had so much fun at Gov Ball both this year and last.  Gov Ball has no where to go but waaay up (I’m saying this primarily to make a play off of Big Sean’s “Blessings”).  Here are my favorite songs from the weekend:

Gov Ball

1. Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa by Vampire Weekend.  Unfortunately, Vampire Weekend wasn’t officially at Gov Ball this year. BUT Chromeo teased the crowd by playing the beginning chords of “Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa,” and then proceeded to bring Ezra Koenig on stage to perform the song.  It was AMAZING, and it definitely brought me back to Gov Ball 2014.  After, Chromeo played “I Could Be Wrong,” which Ezra is actually featured on — and if I’m being completely honest, I had no idea they even had a song together.

2. Jealous (I Ain’t With It) by Chromeo.  Chromeo is always so groovy, and when they played their hit, the entire crowd (even way back where I was) got funky and pulled their weirdest dance moves out with no judgment whatsoever.

3. Bloom by ODESZA.  It’s probably obvious by now that I may or may not be Odesza’s #1 fan so it will come as no shock that I loved their set. However, just like Coachella, they were stuck in a tent so I had no choice but to squeeze through the tight, sweaty crowd to get a little further in from the back to fully hear the set. Again, I wasn’t thrilled with the sound quality since it didn’t quite reach the back, but the duo was amazing as usual. To be fair, I had high standards for the quality of the performance since I saw Harrison and Clayton (yeah, we’re on a first-name basis now) play the night before at Rough Trade to a super intimate crowd of maybe 200 fans.  No matter how many times I see them, their live performance will never get old to me.  The energy at their Gov Ball performance was so palpable and quite possibly my favorite of the weekend.

4. What Kind of Man by Florence + The Machine.  I’m a sucker for heavy percussion so this song was definitely my favorite of her Gov Ball set. When I saw Flo last, it was at Coachella right after she broke her foot; due to her broken foot, she had to have a stripped performance, which was great, but kind of a downer since she always has the best stage presence with her electric energy.  This time, she didn’t hold back one bit.  Her performance was a mix of songs from Lungs, Ceremonials, and her newest album How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful.  I’m a huge fan of her old albums, but it was cool to hear her perform new songs, like “St. Jude” and “Ship to Wreck.”

5. Energy by Drake.  Talk about ENERGY when it comes to Drake’s performance.  Drake started and closed with “Legend” and boy is he a “motherfucking legend.”  He was just as amazing as he was at Coachella, but there was something about that Gov Ball/New York vibe that made his performance that much better.  Also, nice try, Drake, but you also said “this is the best festival crowd I’ve ever seen” and “I’ve never experienced a crowd like this before” at Coachella — I guess his acting gig on Degrassi really paid off.

6. You + Me (Remix) by Flume, Eliza Doolittle.  I didn’t go to Gov Ball day 2, so I wasn’t there for Flume’s set, but from what I’ve seen via Instagram video, it was absolute *fire emoji*.  If it was anything like his performance at Terminal5 that I was at last summer, I’m sure it was nothing short of amazing.

7. Elephant by Tame Impala.  I said this at Coachella too, but Tame Impala is definitely meant for people tripping on acid.  They just have a way of sending out those triply, groovy vibes.  It would’ve been a different experience if the band played at night though since it was a little hard to see their visuals in the daylight.

8. Get On Up by Big Gigantic.  I was pleasantly surprised by the successful blend of jazz and electronic music — the mix of saxophone, drums, and bass flowed naturally into one another.  I was also pleasantly surprised to see that the saxophonist is a D.I.L.F. (I don’t know if Dominic Lalli is actually a dad, but still).

9. Video Games by Lana Del Rey.  I’m a huge fan of Lana with her deep vocals and melancholy rhythms so I was stoked to see her perform.  In fact, she was a big part of why I decided to go back to Gov Ball on Day 3.  Her back drop was a sight, her outfit (a New York Yankees jersey dress) was on point, her hair was perfectly coiffed, her face was obscenely beautiful, and her voice was- well I’m not really sure.  For some odd reason, the sound was terrible at the Honda stage, and the crowds to the side of the stage and all the way back could hardly hear her.  From seeing other people’s Instagram videos who were closer to the stage, she sounded angelic.  But looking back at my own Snapchat story where I recorded Lana, I could only hear the people talking around me instead of the music.  However, every time I was able to hear tiny snippets of her singing, I was in love.

10. Little Black Submarines by The Black Keys.  Since I was at Lana for her entire performance, I sadly missed all my favorite Black Keys songs, like “Howlin’ for You,” “Gold on the Ceiling,” “Lonely Boy,” and “Gotta Get Away.”  However, ending Gov Ball weekend with “Little Black Submarines” just felt right.  Starting as a ballad that could almost pass as a lullaby, the song explodes with energy as it erupts into a full-on rock chorus heavy with guitar riffs and drums.  As we were all air guitar-ing, fireworks burst into the air right on cue to signify the end of a weekend filled with great friends and live music.

Stay tuned,

Roxanne